Let’s talk about sex, baby, let’s talk about you and me. But in all seriousness, let’s talk about what it takes to have a happy and healthy sexual relationship.
Even though we live in an age where sexual practices are becoming more and more acceptable, there is still a lot of uncertainty about how to actually talk about and approach sex so that you get the sex you want. We’ve all had those nights that were destined to be great encounters and something simply wasn’t right. That’s not fun.
As we become more open about sex, the dichotomy between Cougars and Cubs can become quite broad. Cougars have their tastes pretty much figured out when it comes to sex, and while they may be more liberal than younger women would be about sex, considerations must be made so that both parties enjoy their experience.
So we’re sharing some simple steps to make sure that your next sexual encounter is is more than satisfying.
1) Life is not a porn movie.
Stop thinking it is. As much as we would like to say that all porn is real and that it feels just as incredible as the performers are making it seem, porn doesn’t account for the level of stimulation your Cougar may need to be getting to her target. It can sometimes be hard to separate real life from porn when your fantasies are quite often centred around clips you’ve seen.
In order to avoid getting stuck in this mindset, you can try watching more amateur porn or check out sites that are willing to educate you on how to have better sex. Remember that sex (generally) isn’t a performance, so don’t be afraid for it to be messy, sometimes awkward, and even funny. Sometimes the most memorable encounters weren’t the most perfect, but how you recovered made it memorable. We encourage you to check out Make Love, Not Porn by Cindy Gallop for some insight into real life sex, complete with tutorials that will blow your (and your Cougar’s) mind.
2) Communication is important.
We’ve all heard about the people who have sex fantasies that may be way outside your comfort zone, we think that fetishes should generally be explored. If you’re looking for a little light bondage, say so. You want to be completely dominated? Just ask! Exploring things that excite you isn’t just about you, but openly declaring your wants is. After all, you need to explore your fetishes to understand more about yourself.
The key to sex is having healthy, open conversations about your wants and needs. If you can’t have an open and honest conversation about what it is you want, or you’re not sure if you have consent to do what you want, then you shouldn’t participate in that activity. You want to make sure that both parties have ecstatically consented so that it’s fun for both of you—especially if you’re exploring something a little less than vanilla.
3) Casual Flings don’t have to be emotion free.
This step is listed after communication because it’s important to know the relationships boundaries and limits. If you’re both clear on what it is you’re both actually looking for in this arrangement, then you’ll be able to actually let yourself feel something during sex.
While it’s commonly held knowledge that you shouldn’t let emotions seep into casual relationships, you’d be surprised at how many of us are incapable of that. After all, the absence of emotion is stoicism and sex isn’t conducive to being stoic. It’s an emotional experience, and when you unleash your raw passion it can be the most memorable experience. So don’t be afraid to expose your vulnerabilities in the bedroom.
Letting yourself be a little more open will help you pay more attention to your Cougar since you’ll be less focused on holding your emotions at bay.
By following these three simple tips, you’ll be well on your way to getting what you want in the bedroom and potentially the relationship with your Cougar. Still looking for your Cougar? Log in to Cougar Life and start messaging!