We’ve all heard people complaining that chivalry is dead, but the reality is that it’s just changed a little. Women don’t need men to hold the door, but there are certain subtle acts that still go a long way in making them feel wanted, needed, and cared for— and there’s a big difference between being “cared for” and being “taken care of.”.
With a steadying wokeness about feminism and the continuing struggle for equality, that doesn’t mean that a woman wants a man who is not a gentleman. Being a gentleman doesn’t mean jumping all over your woman to make sure she never has to lift a finger; it’s about making her life easier and proving that you pay attention.
Chivalry, however, can go both ways. As strong and independent women, Cougars don’t expect that you’ll take care of every single thing, and they also want to help make your life a little easier. On any given day, practicing these acts can work to boost your relationship.
Open a door
It’s common courtesy to help someone with a door, especially if they’re struggling with their hands full of items. When you do this for strangers, it will often elicit a smile and a “Thank you,” but when you go out of your way to hold the door for your lover or partner, it shows that you just want to make their day a little bit easier.
You might not be big on public displays of affection, but everyone wants to feel like they’re special. Whether this small act of love is leading the way with your hand on the small of their back or a quick peck on the cheek as you head to the bar to get them another round, these little things show your partner that you can’t keep your hands off of them, but are mature enough to avoid public indecency charges.
Listen and ask for their opinion
Discussing events that happen in your lives can bring you closer to each other. When someone cares enough to ask follow-up questions a few days later or provides some valuable insight into a problem, it makes you want to share more with them later on down the line.
Both sides need to understand, however, that discussing your options is not the same as being told what to do. It’s called advice for a reason, but your Cougar or Cub is ultimately going to do what they think they need to do in the specific situation.
Whether they’re struggling with their jacket and you help them into it, or their arms are overloaded and you grab a bag, be conscious of little acts of kindness that can help them out. If you’re always on your phone or two steps ahead of them to get out of the restaurant, you’ll miss these opportunities, so pay more attention and react appropriately when a helping hand is needed.
This is just polite. The saying goes that if you’re not five minutes early, you’re late, and we stand by this as one of those respectful acts that shouldn’t be overlooked.
Treat their friends with respect
The key to long term relationships is getting the seal of approval from your Cougar orCub’s friends. While they don’t need to become your newest BFF, you do need to get along with them and you should want them to like you as well.
You’re going to be spending time at parties and other social gatherings with these people and you can’t be pinned to your partner’s side the whole time. So compliment them, listen genuinely and sincerely to their interests, and overall play nice.
Stand up for strangers
When was the last time you saw someone being treated poorly in public? Hopefully this happens infrequently, but a truly chivalrous act is the selflessness of standing up for these strangers. Whether someone is saying something cruel on the subway or you’re caught in the middle of an argument, being the person that genuinely cares for other people by helping those caught up in a situation makes you truly chivalrous.
Remember the small things
Random gifts and acts of love shouldn’t just be expected from men. Women and men both like feeling appreciated. Random gifts, acts of kindness, and small little surprises can go a long way towards making your partner feel loved.
So grab those flowers from the grocery store or purchase that trinket that reminded you of them and prove that they’re always on your mind.
Chivalry truly isn’t dead, it’s just a matter of perspective. We also believe that if you follow these simple steps, you’ll be a more attentive partner and your lover will appreciate it.
Still looking for a partner you can bestow these newfound chivalrous acts on? Cougars and Cubs are looking for someone just like you on Cougar Life, so join now.